Criticisms of a Cynical Adolescent: The Truth Hurts

Today I have a rare guest post from my 15 year old daughter, Gabbey. This hardly ever happens (at least not without a lot of wheedling and pleading on my part). Apparently she had a few things she wanted to rant about share in public. So I’ll turn the blog over to her ...

Criticisms of a Cynical Adolescent: The Truth Hurts
by Gabrielle Salerni

Honestly—I can’t be the only one who looks around and wonders what happened to my generation. What is it about them that drives me so insane, you say? Why, I’m glad you asked. Let us delve into the deep and find out.

Reason #1:Texting. I think I could name at least thirty people in my school who are married to their phones. I could also name several who go through three or four different phones in a year. Frankly, I don’t see what the big deal is. I get people who text me over the weekend and expect me to respond right away, whereas I won’t check my phone until Sunday night or Monday morning. Then I get to school and that person is upset because I didn’t text them back. Gee, I’m sorry. I guess I was too busy spending time with my family or trying to work through the ten pounds of homework I get every night. Sure, I get that some things are urgent, and someone needs to talk to me right away. In that case, I would recommend using the “talk” function of the phone and actually call me, using your voice to speak to me. Phones do that, you know. 

Reason #2: Grammar use. Now, I’m not asking for perfection. But would it kill you to capitalize the first letter of your sentence? Or use a comma? A period? And if you’re feeling crazy, you might even want to spell things correctly. I've never understood all the abbreviations people use in place of words now. Is it really that much work to type out an extra two letters to actually spell out the word “you” instead of “u”? It’s gotten so bad that I can’t understand half the things people say to me online anymore. “hey grrrrrrrrllly!!!! wu? do u wnt 2 hn out ts wknd?”

Look, either speak English or get off my friend list.

And then there’s the opposite, which I understand even less. Some people actually capitalize the first letter of every word when they type. WHY? That’s MORE work! Why would you sit there and hit the shift button every five seconds just to type out a measly sentence? I Mean, This Is So Annoying! Not Only For Me To Type, But It’s Really Annoying To Read!  It feels like I’m reading one giant title.

Reason #3:Clothing. Oh dear god, the things people wear to school nowadays. Do guys think it makes them look cool to have their pants falling down? Do they really think we all want to see their boxers? When you purposely let your pants fall down that far, you’re practically begging me to pull them down the rest of the way. As for girls—why must you make me ashamed to be female? Look, gym shorts and fuzzy boots do not go together. It’s either hot outside or it’s cold. You can’t have it both ways. Also, some of you seemed confused about the difference between a shirt and a dress. Allow me to explain it to you: a shirt covers your torso. A dress covers your rear end and your calves. Now, I understand your confusion since sometimes shirts are different lengths. But you’ll have to be the judge here. If the clothing in question leaves half your ass hanging out, then chances are, it’s a shirt.

        I could go on, really, but I don’t think there’s enough room for me to do so. Anyhow, I’ve shared the gist of my opinions. You’re welcome.